Krueger Full House: Xinyang Orphanage

Today we went on a sobering but important trip down to Xinyang, to visit Valerie's orphanage. Xinyang is about 200 miles south of Zhengzhou, 90 minutes by bullet train. By the way, the bullet train is the way to travel in China - comfortable, affordable, fast. On the train Valerie was crying quite a bit. We wondered if it brought to mind her (likely) only other train ride - the one that brought her to Zhengzhou on gotcha day and brought such a big change to her life. It was another long, hot day but we want to document as much of Valerie's past as possible since there's so much we don't know.

In describing the orphanage, I'm choosing diplomatic wording because I know they have limited resources and they're doing the best they can. But I do mean limited, with small crowded rooms in an old building. We saw many kids with special needs, who mostly seemed to be resigned to their environment. We did get to meet Valerie's favorite nanny and special playmate. We saw the crib where she slept and the room where she spent her waking hours. The nannies seemed kind and we're thankful for that. But it is disturbing to see so many kids in a crowded room. We've talked about the grieving process for Valerie but after today I feel like I need to grieve those first two years of her life. No one should have to live like that without a family.

For context, Susan was in the orphanage here in Zhengzhou - the flagship of orphanages in the Henan province. It was good (by good, I mean important) to see the conditions at another orphanage.

Please continue to pray for our little girl - I imagine that it'll take a long time to heal. A lot of stress on a little one living in survival mode for so long.

Since being back in our room she has had a great time playing with her stacking cups. I think it must be such a wonderful (but strange) new experience for her to play by herself in a stress-free environment with two parents at her fingertips.

Mercifully, Valerie slept through most of the orphanage visit waking up just at the end so she didn't see us coming in and have to wonder if we're going to leave her there. She only saw us saying goodbye. Please pray that she's not too overwhelmed by the visit. It was a difficult but important thing to do.